The very next day, Little Bird was discussing the next great adventure to go on with Marie T. Mouse. They had narrowed down the adventure to going to Dollar General on the Big Wheel or going to the park and making fun of Squirrels because they have fuzzy tails and hide nuts when all of a sudden, Little Bird’s Hello Kitty cell phone started ringing. It was, of course, Stacy Pomogranite one of Little Birds cat supermodel friends who lived in the neighborhood. Stacy had a hot tub which all the local supermodel cats loved.

Little Bird answered the phone and Stacy said “What big adventure are you and Marie T. Mouse going on today and can I go with you?”

Little Bird answered, “We’re going to the Dollar General on the Big Wheel and buy all sorts of snacks but not catnip because my superhero dad is bringing some home with him tonight.”

Stacy was a very curious cat and proved it by asking, “Did you make sure to remind him this morning before he went to the mysterious ‘work’ to make the fabulous tuna money?”

“No,” Little Bird answered, “I don’t need to because my superhero dad and I have a thing called Radar Love.”

Stacy was quiet for a moment and then asked, “So you don’t need no phone at all?”

“Nope Stacy, we got a light in the sky!”

Just then Marie T. Mouse piped up, “The radio’s playing that forgotten song! Brenda Lee’s coming on strong you guys!”

That’s when Walter Woodchuck popped his head out of the flower pot that he and Wilma Woodchuck lived in and exclaimed, “Hey, the newsman’s singing his same old song!”

Little Bird thought about all that for a minute and said, “You know what, that would make a great song!”

And so Stacy, Little Bird, Marie T. Mouse and Walter and Wilma Woodchuck all put on their Big Wheel goggles and helmets because everyone knows that mice, cats and woodchucks are all very safe drivers and hopped on Little Bird’s Big Wheel and began the long, long drive to the Dollar General just down the street because Little Bird usually spotted a squirrel and chased it on the Big Wheel which really made any trip with her a lot longer than you would think.

As Little Bird, with Marie T. Mouse sitting on her head, rode her genuine Big Wheel that her superhero dad bought her for her super special birthday, she, of course, spotted her arch enemy, Chester B. Squirrel right at the same time that Stacy and Samone spotted him in Mrs. Katz’s yard. All three cats yelled out “SQUIRREL!” as Little Bird turned the handlebars onto Mrs. Katz’s driveway and right through her prized petunias chasing after Chester B. Squirrel who was by this time well aware that HIS arch enemy, Little Bird and that “stupid mouse” were hot on his trail so up Mrs. Katz’s Oak tree he went.

Little Bird came to a screeching stop at the bottom of the Oak tree and said, “Stacy climb the tree and get that fuzzy tailed squirrel!”

Stacy of course remembered that LAST time she did that and replied, “No way Little Bird, the last time I climbed a tree after Chester B. Squirrel it too 4 fire trucks, 10 firemen, 5 ladders and a can of cat food to get me back down. And then I was grounded for two thousand years!”

“Drat,” said Little Bird. Looking up into the tree where Chester B. Squirrel was looking down at the three cats and a mouse on a Big Wheel wearing goggles and helmets, she yelled “Next time you fuzzy tailed rodent!”

To which Marie T. Mouse exclaimed, “Hey I resemble that remark!”

“Marie T. Mouse, you are the bestest furever friend a cat could ever call friend. And everyone knows that you are not a rodent, you’re a mouse! So obviously, I was not talking about you!”

Just then Mrs. Katz came running out of her house and exclaimed, “My prized Petunias! You cats and that mouse get out of my yard this very minute!”

Little Bird stepped on the pedals of the big wheel and raced up to Mrs. Katz running over, you guessed it, some more of her prized Petunias. “Sorry Mrs. Katz, Chester B. Squirrel was in your yard and everyone knows that squirrels have fuzzy tails and hide nuts!”

Mrs. Katz stomped her left foot and said while her face was turning an odd color of purple, “Get out of my flowers you cat you!”

So the three cats and a mouse wearing goggles and helmets (because everyone knows that cats and mice are safe drivers) once more set out towards the Dollar General just down the street. Little Bird whipped the big wheel into the parking lot amid a great clatter of gravel and plastic wheels and raced towards the door of the Dollar General that had a sign on it that said ‘automatic door’.

“Little Bird you better stop pretty soon or you’re going to run into that door!” exclaimed Samone.

“They’re magic doors,” replied Little Bird, “watch this!” and with that she yelled out, “OPEN MAGIC DOORS” and like magic, the door that said ‘automatic door’ opened all by itself!

Little Bird tore into the store and right down Aisle 2 where the cat treats were, followed closely by Todd, the Dollar General manager who was stunned to see a big wheel with three cats and a mouse on it wearing goggles and helmets (because everyone knows that cats are very safe drivers).

“Hey you cats and mouse! You’re not allowed in the store.” Todd exclaimed after he managed to catch up to the Big Wheel adventuring menagerie.

“Sorry mister Dollar General but we are customers and are here to purchase a vast selection of treats but not catnip because my dad who is a superhero is bringing some home with him. We have a radar love you know!” Little Bird told the manager.

“First of all, my name isn’t Dollar General….”

Little Bird interrupted the manager before he could get up a good verbal head of steam, “Well, you’re shirt says “Dollar General on so obviously, duh, you’re Dollar General and work for some guy named Todd.”

“No, you cat you, I work for Dollar General.” The manager said, suddenly realizing that he may have made a tactical mistake.

“Well, then why are you wearing Dollar General’s shirt? Does he know you’re wearing his clothes?” Samone said, quickly realizing that Little Bird was up to her usual semantic shenanigans.

“No, the store is called Dollar General and this little tag here is my name which is Todd. But never mind about that, we only allow service animals in the store so all of you have to leave.”

Little Bird, always quick with technicalities, said, “Oh well that’s okay then. You see, Marie T. Mouse is my service animal.”

Samone then said, “Stacy here is my service animal, mister General.”

Stacy then pointed out the obvious, “Samone is my service animal.”

And then Marie T. Mouse clapped here little mouse paws together and exclaimed, “The fat cat here, Little Bird is my service animal!”

Todd quickly realized that three cats and a mouse on a Big Wheel wearing helmets (because everyone knows that cats and mice are safe drivers) had outwitted him.

A half an hour later, the casual observer would have seen the Dollar General doors slide open followed by a Big Wheel with three cats and a mouse on it tearing into the parking lot and speeding away with a great clatter of plastic wheels and three cats meowing up a storm with a mouse sitting on one of the cats heads squeaking, “Tasty snacks!” over and over.

And so ended the great Dollar General adventure. What were the great selection of snacks you ask? 3 cans of Tuna, a box of crackers for the mouse, two cans of cat food, three Shrimp (cooked), a small container of rice, two cat toys and a balsa wood yard ornament of a Squirrel for target practice.

Little bird was an orphan kitten, who lived in the the scary forest in a milk carton when a nice cat saver lady found her. Her name was Gloria, the cat savin’ lady. She drove around in her cat van, which always had millions of orphan kittens in it, waiting for their own superhero mommies and daddies.

d not make fun of anyone because they have fuzzy tails and hide nuts. Little Bird was very glad when Gloria the cat savin’ lady found her and did that cat savin’ thing.

Little bird’s superhero dad found her on Craig’s list after the mysterious “queen” went away. Little Bird didn’t know who this “queen” was but her super cat model friends,  Samone and Stacy said that Little Bird looked just like the mysterious “queen” which was okay with her. Little Bird thought that the mysterious “queen” was a Sabertooth Tiger too because Little Bird looked just like the queen. If she looked like the “queen” and Little Bird was a Sabertooth Tiger then the “queen” must be a Sabertooth Tiger too. Samone and Stacy had many adventures with the “queen” including that time they crashed the “queen’s” Big Wheel in the pond and argued with a Raccoon named Rocky.

One day, Little Bird was using her hello kitty phone to look at pictures of catnip when she saw an ad that said “Fat mouse for sale.” Looking at pictures of catnip was Little Bird’s favorite thing to do on her phone because catnip was sooooo nice to look at but her dad always talked about someone using up all the precious “data” whatever that was. That was usually when her superhero dad made things fly through the air while he was talking about the precious “data” and his face got really, really funny colors.

That night when her superhero dad came home, Birdie said, “If you pick me up and hug me,  I’ll ask you about a fat mouse for sale.” Since her dad was a superhero and very smart, he knew that Little Bird had a trick up her sleeve even though she did not wear any clothes because she was a cat.

So her daddy who was a superhero to Little Bird picked her up and gave her a hug and then Little Bird said, “Dad, I saw an ad on Craig’s List for an orphan fat mouse for sale and I thought that since I was an orphan kitten and that there is an orphan fat mouse for sale that the fat mouse could maybe, sort of, pleeeease, pleeeease come live with us so I can hug the fat mouse and be the Sabertooth cat friend of a fat mouse just like in a movie about a Sabertooth Tiger and a fat mouse.”0

Now, Little Bird, being a very, very cute kitten and a Sabertooth Tiger was able to talk her superhero dad into buying her the fat orphan mouse that was for sale on Craig’s list under the ‘fat mice for sale’ listing. And so Little Bird and her cat super model friends Samone and Stacy all piled into Little Birds’ superhero dad’s superhero pickup truck with Little Bird’s superhero dad who was driving because he knew that cats were horrible at driving and they set off to see the orphan fat mouse that was for sale on Craig’s list. Little Bird did not know who this Craig was or why he had a list but she was sure glad he did because she would not have met her superhero dad if this Craig guy didn’t have a list.

On the way to see the orphan fat mouse for sale, Little Bird and her super model cat friends, Samone and Stacy clamored and clamored to stop at Arby’s so Little Bird’s superhero dad could buy them some tuna sandwiches with side orders of catnip so that Little Bird’s superhero dad could spend some of his vast fortune of tuna money at Arby’s who must have been a very nice guy since he had tuna sandwiches for sale.

While Little Bird and her super model cat friends, Samone and Stacy munched on their 10 tuna sandwiches (each) and sides of catnip, they watched all the trees and houses and other superhero mommies and daddies in their superhero cars and trucks and they even stopped for a stupid Squirrel in the middle of the street even though Little Bird, Samone and Stacy all agreed that Squirrels should not be in the streets because they had fuzzy tails and hid nuts.

All of a sudden by the side of the road there was a sign that said “Fat mice here” and Little Bird’s dad drove into the driveway of the house with the sign that said “Fat mice here.” Little Bird’s superhero dad got Little Bird, Samone and Stacy out of their cat car seats and they all trouped to the front door of the house that had the sign that said “Fat mice for sale.” A lady opened the door after Little Bird’s superhero dad pushed the magic doorbell button. Little Bird looked up at the lady and said, “We’re here to buy a fat mouse.”

The lady looked at Little Bird and said in a very mean voice, “Are you going to chase the fat mouse around and then eat it you cat you?”

Little Bird sat down and wrapped her tail around her feet and very calmly said, “Lady, it is not nice to be mean to a kitten who lived in a milk carton in the scary woods and was made fun of by Squirrels with fuzzy tails and of course I am not going to chase a fat mouse around and eat it because I am not mean like Squirrels. Besides, I am looking for a furever best friend and you are pretty mean calling a mouse fat because maybe she just has big bones.” Stacy muttered, “But I might eat it, fat mice are tasty”, which caused Little Bird to use her right front paw to push Stacy and mutter back, “Not helping, Stacy.”

The lady thought for a few moments and said, “Well in that case, please come in and meet a fat mouse.” The lady took Little Bird’s superhero dad, Little Bird, Samone and Stacy over to a very nice mouse house where a little, tiny fat white mouse was sitting in a very tiny fat mouse lawn chair. Little Bird sat down in front of the mouse and said, “My name is Little Bird and I would like to be your friend and buy you out of bondage so you can be my friend and we can have great adventures together.”

The fat mouse, whose name was Marie, looked at Little Bird (who just knew in her cat heart of hearts that she was a Sabertooth Tiger) and said in a squeaky little mouse voice, “I have always dreamed of having adventures so I say okay to your proposal” and that is how Little Bird the poor lost kitten living in a milk carton in a scary forest became the best furever friend of a fat mouse named Marie.

And so Little Bird, her superhero dad, Samone, Stacey and the fat mouse all piled into the superhero dad pickup truck and made their way back to Little Bird’s house so that Little Bird and the fat mouse could start having their amazing adventures.

Little Bird, even though she didn’t know her own name yet, was a very sad kitten because she lived in a dark forest in an old milk carton where it was cold and lonely. And all the squirrels made fun of her and dropped acorns (which come from Oak trees) on her milk carton.

One day on a Tuesday, there was a funny buzzing sound in the forest which made Little Bird very curious, “whatever is that buzzing sound?” she said to herself.

Just then a dark blue monster appeared! And it buzzed and buzzed and had bright eyes! Well Little Bird did not know what to make of this dark blue monster with bright eyes that buzzed and buzzed but it made all the mean squirrels (who had fuzzy tails) run way way fast away which was just fine with Little Bird because the squirrels were mean and made fun of her and dropped Acorns on her milk carton. And then quick as a wink, a giant wing came flying out and from behind the wing a two legged creature began walking towards Little Bird!

She had never seen anything like this which is understandable since she was only like 5 weeks old. Well, that 2 legged creature walked right up to Little Bird’s milk carton that she lived in and put her hands on her hips and said, “Hello little kitten, my name is aunt Gloria and I am here to rescue you with my kitten savin’ van!”

Little Bird was very curious because she did not know that she needed saving but this aunt Gloria lady seemed nice so quick as anything, she ran out of her milk carton and jumped like 500 feet in the air and into aunt Gloria’s arms and said, ” okay lady, that sounds like a plan!”

And so Little Bird was carried to the monster and found out that it was actually called a “van” (whatever that is) which pretty nice and cozy in the super kitten savin’ van. On the way to aunt Gloria’s super secret headquarters, she explained to Little Bird that she traveled in her super kitten savin’ van all over the place and saved little kittens who lived in milk cartons, boxes, dumpsters, bird nests, in bushes, under old chairs, in storm drains and even sometimes in something called barns. Little Bird had never heard such a thing! Apparently, lost kittens lived all over the place.

And so, aunt Gloria loaded all the kittens in the kitten savin’ van and set off for Little Bird’s forever home. And they drove and drove and all the kittens had a grand time in the back of the kitten savin’ van. Went they went around a right corner all the kittens said “Wheeeeeee!” and when they went around a left turn, all the kittens said “Wheeeee!” and then finally they got to Little Bird’s forever home and all the other little kittens said their goodbye to Little Bird, “Bye Little Bird” Rafial said, “Have a good time!” little bob the kitten said, “Have lots of fun!” carl the kitten said as Gloria took the super kitten savin’ cat carrier from the super kitten savin’ van and headed up to the front door.

The kitten and the Potato cannon

One night last Tuesday, Little Bird’s dad was relaxing after a hard day doing whatever it was he did all day long, minding his own business and not bothering anyone when Little bird and Marie T. Mouse came trouping down the stairs from their “project” room. Marie, of course, was sitting on Little Bird’s head when they came up to dad (who was a superhero). Little Bird sat down, cleaned her right paw and said, “Dad?”

Always suspicious when the kitten and mouse were working on one of their “projects” in their room answered with a feeling of dread, “Yes?”

Little Bird asked, “Dad, what is the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Her dad blinked a few times trying to figure out what those two were up to and said (because Little Bird was in the first grade and should know this stuff already), “Bird, you’re just being lazy. Use your Hello Kitty calculator and figure it out.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea Dad!” (of course it was a good idea, their dad is a superhero!) Little Bird and Marie T. Mouse started going back upstairs to the “project” room when her dad had a sudden thought that went something like “Uh-oh.”

Just then, Little Bird’s dad realized that there were not many reasons why a cat and mouse would need to figure out the hypotenuse of anything, “Wait a minute you two. What do you need to know the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Little Bird stopped on the bottom step – so close to getting back to the “project” room and now her dad was onto her little mind game, “Oh, we’re building a Potato cannon to shoot squirrels with. They have fuzzy tails and hide their nuts.” Marie T. Mouse, who was as always riding on Little Bird’s head clapped her little tiny mouse hands together and squeaked “Potato cannon!”

“Yes, I know Squirrels have fuzzy tails, Bird. Don’t you think a Potato cannon is a little dangerous for someone your age?”, her dad (who was a superhero) asked while trying to figure out some way to put an end to these particular shenanigans before it started to cost money, ’cause Potatoes don’t grow on trees you know and cats shooting Potatoes at Squirrels is probably not such a good idea.

“No dad, you see, Squirrels are rodents. Everyone knows that…..common knowledge,” which seemed pretty obvious to a cat because after all, everyone knows that, it’s common knowledge.

Marie T. Mouse piped up, “Yeah dad, they’re rodents. We hate rodents!”

Sensing that there was some serious issues with the fat mouse, their dad tried to explain it, “Marie, you are a rodent you know.”

“Oh dad, I’m not a rodent, I’m a mouse!”

“Everyone knows that…..common knowledge” Little Bird added and then scurried back upstairs to the project room before her dad recovered his senses and put a stop to the project.

Little Bird and her furever bestest friend, Marie T. Mouse got their awesome potato cannon idea after watching a super cool movie with their super hero dad called “Almost Heros” which Little Bird thought was just right since her dad was a super hero after they saw how the characters in the movie got a Squirrel…..that was eating a nut!

The next day when Little Bird’s dad got home he was pretty sure that his talk about the Potato cannon didn’t work because there were 3 fire trucks, 2 police cars, a helicopter and several television news crews milling about in front of the house along with several neighbors.

As he got out of his superhero pickup truck, one of the firemen walked up to Little Bird’s dad with, oddly enough, Marie T. Mouse on his fireman’s helmet.

“Sir, are you the legal parent of this particular mouse?”

Little Bird’s dad looked at the fireman and said, “Yes I am. I guess there is a good reason why there’s a mouse on your helmet?”

Just then Little Bird raced up, circled her dad’s legs 4 times and leapt up into his arms exclaiming, “Dad! Dad! Miss Marie T. Mouse, my furever best friend is missing! Vanished I tell you!”

“Little Bird”, her dad said, “Marie is on that fireman’s helmet.”

Little Bird stamped her foot and exclaimed, “Marie T. Mouse, what are you doing on the fireman’s helmet?”

“What do you mean? I hopped on this very nice helmet when I hopped out of the tree that I was in”

Realizing that dragging out the explanation that was sure to take several hours longer that was required, Little Bird’s dad decided to talk to the only person that could tell him, the fireman.

The fireman, realizing the exact same thing said, “The mouse in question was in a tree, about a million zillion feet in the air. Way high up, I might add.”

Her dad looked at Little Bird and asked the question that he was dreading the answer to, “Little Bird, how did the mouse get in the tree a million zillion feet in the air?”

“Well, dad it could have been when we tested the Potato cannon.”

“Little Bird, did you put the mouse in the Potato cannon?”

“No Dad, she pulled the trigger and I guess the recoil was a little bit more than we bargained for. Especially since we didn’t have a measuring cup at the time. You see, the directions say to put 4 drops of lighter fluid in the potato cannon to shoot the potato and since we didn’t have a measuring cup, we decided to put the whole can of lighter fluid in the cannon and when we pulled the trigger, it launched the potato way, way high up in the air and Marie T. Mouse was sort of launched in the other direction a million zillion feet up into the tree.”

Just then one of the neighbors wandered by on their way home from milling about and Little Bird’s dad overheard him say, “It was the strangest thing. NASA just announced that a potato of all things just hit the International Space Station and put a big dent in it that is going to cost at least twenty dollars to fix!”

And that’s the story of how a cat and a fat mouse managed to put a dent in a space station and cause an international incident because the Russians, who are paranoid to begin with, thought that some one sabotaged the space station and set out to get to the bottom of how a potato managed to hit the space station.



The kitten and the Potato cannon

One night last Tuesday, Little Bird’s dad was relaxing after a hard day doing whatever it was he did all day long, minding his own business and not bothering anyone when Little bird and Marie T. Mouse came trouping down the stairs from their “project” room. Marie, of course, was sitting on Little Bird’s head when they came up to dad (who was a superhero). Little Bird sat down, cleaned her right paw and said, “Dad?”

Always suspicious when the kitten and mouse were working on one of their “projects” in their room answered with a feeling of dread, “Yes?”

Little Bird asked, “Dad, what is the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Her dad blinked a few times trying to figure out what those two were up to and said (because Little Bird was in the first grade and should know this stuff already), “Bird, you’re just being lazy. Use your Hello Kitty calculator and figure it out.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea Dad!” (of course it was a good idea, their dad is a superhero!) Little Bird and Marie T. Mouse started going back upstairs to the “project” room when her dad had a sudden thought that went something like “Uh-oh.”

Just then, Little Bird’s dad realized that there were not many reasons why a cat and mouse would need to figure out the hypotenuse of anything, “Wait a minute you two. What do you need to know the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Little Bird stopped on the bottom step – so close to getting back to the “project” room and now her dad was onto her little mind game, “Oh, we’re building a Potato cannon to shoot squirrels with. They have fuzzy tails and hide their nuts.” Marie T. Mouse, who was as always riding on Little Bird’s head clapped her little tiny mouse hands together and squeaked “Potato cannon!”

“Yes, I know Squirrels have fuzzy tails, Bird. Don’t you think a Potato cannon is a little dangerous for someone your age?”, her dad (who was a superhero) asked while trying to figure out some way to put an end to these particular shenanigans before it started to cost money, ’cause Potatoes don’t grow on trees you know and cats shooting Potatoes at Squirrels is probably not such a good idea.

“No dad, you see, Squirrels are rodents. Everyone knows that…..common knowledge,” which seemed pretty obvious to a cat because after all, everyone knows that, it’s common knowledge.

Marie T. Mouse piped up, “Yeah dad, they’re rodents. We hate rodents!”

Sensing that there was some serious issues with the fat mouse, their dad tried to explain it, “Marie, you are a rodent you know.”

“Oh dad, I’m not a rodent, I’m a mouse!”

“Everyone knows that…..common knowledge” Little Bird added and then scurried back upstairs to the project room before her dad recovered his senses and put a stop to the project.

The next day when Little Bird’s dad got home he was pretty sure that his talk about the Potato cannon didn’t work because there were 3 fire trucks, 2 police cars, a helicopter and several television news crews milling about in front of the house along with several neighbors.

As he got out of his superhero pickup truck, one of the firemen walked up to Little Bird’s dad with, oddly enough, Marie T. Mouse on his fireman’s helmet.

“Sir, are you the legal parent of this particular mouse?”

Little Bird’s dad looked at the fireman and said, “Yes I am. I guess there is a good reason why there’s a mouse on your helmet?”

Just then Little Bird raced up, circled her dad’s legs 4 times and leapt up into his arms exclaiming, “Dad! Dad! Miss Marie T. Mouse, my furever best friend is missing! Vanished I tell you!”

“Little Bird”, her dad said, “Marie is on that fireman’s helmet.”

Little Bird stamped her foot and exclaimed, “Marie T. Mouse, what are you doing on the fireman’s helmet?”

“What do you mean? I hopped on this very nice helmet when I hopped out of the tree that I was in”

Realizing that dragging out the explanation that was sure to take several hours longer that was required, Little Bird’s dad decided to talk to the only person that could tell him, the fireman.

The fireman, realizing the exact same thing said, “The mouse in question was in a tree, about a million zillion feet in the air. Way high up, I might add.”

Her dad looked at Little Bird and asked the question that he was dreading the answer to, “Little Bird, how did the mouse get in the tree a million zillion feet in the air?”

“Well, dad it could have been when we tested the Potato cannon.”

“Little Bird, did you put the mouse in the Potato cannon?”

“No Dad, she pulled the trigger and I guess the recoil was a little bit more than we bargained for. Especially since we didn’t have a measuring cup at the time. You see, the directions say to put 4 drops of lighter fluid in the potato cannon to shoot the potato and since we didn’t have a measuring cup, we decided to put the whole can of lighter fluid in the cannon and when we pulled the trigger, it launched the potato way, way high up in the air and Marie T. Mouse was sort of launched in the other direction a million zillion feet up into the tree.”

Just then one of the neighbors wandered by on their way home from milling about and Little Bird’s dad overheard him say, “It was the strangest thing. NASA just announced that a potato of all things just hit the International Space Station and put a big dent in it that is going to cost at least twenty dollars to fix!”

And that’s the story of how a cat and a fat mouse managed to put a dent in a space station and cause an international incident because the Russians, who are paranoid to begin with, thought that some one sabotaged the space station and set out to get to the bottom of how a potato managed to hit the space station.

Chapter 1 – Little Bird

Little bird was a very smart kitty; she took after her dad who was a superhero to her and very smart because he was her dad. Little Bird was a Tortise shell cat because she was a gold brown color and had tiger stripes all over just like a Sabertooth Tiger. A Sabertooth Tiger is called a Smilodon by grown ups and Little Bird thought that was great because it had “Smile” in the name and she was a very happy kitten because her dad was a superhero and said that she was a happy kitten and that was good enough for her! Since Little Bird looked like a Sabertooth Tiger and was happy, she just knew in her cat hearts of hearts that she was indeed a Sabertooth Tiger.

Little Bird and her superhero dad lived with some lady named “mom” which Little bird thought was a silly name. How can you call some lady “mom” when she was her mommy too? It was all very confusing. Little Bird knew that the lady called “mom” who was her mommy was in fact her mommy because she spent every minute of every day cleaning Little Bird’s cat box that she shared with her big brother Ambrose Butterbutt (who was so cool) and was also a Sabertooth Tiger but a very rare sensitive Sabertooth Tiger. And her mommy knew how to make snacks fall out of the sky so Little Bird thought she was pretty cool too.

Little Bird found out one day that there were two very famous cat supermodels that lived in her neighborhood, Stacey Pomogranite and Samone FruFru. Stacey was the “Meow Mix” spokescat and Samone was a very fluffy white cat that tried to convince everyone to buy “Fancy Feast.” Once Little Bird met them, it was clear that they were three birds of a feather, three amigos or as her superhero dad liked to say “The Three Stooges.” Little Bird didn’t know what a “stooge” was but they must have been very nice.

Ambrose Butterbutt was the bestest big brother ever! He always said really cool stuff like “I hear your mom calling”, “Go play in traffic” and Little Bird’s favorite, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Her friends call her “birdie” and since you are her friend, you can call her Birdie too because Little Bird is very happy you are reading her book about the fat mouse. Everyone was Birdie’s friend because she loved everyone and because she was a Sabertooth Tiger. She loved to look at everyone and say “Arrrgh” just like a Sabertooth Tiger. Arrgh!