The kitten and the Potato cannon

One night last Tuesday, Little Bird’s dad was relaxing after a hard day doing whatever it was he did all day long, minding his own business and not bothering anyone when Little bird and Marie T. Mouse came trouping down the stairs from their “project” room. Marie, of course, was sitting on Little Bird’s head when they came up to dad (who was a superhero). Little Bird sat down, cleaned her right paw and said, “Dad?”

Always suspicious when the kitten and mouse were working on one of their “projects” in their room answered with a feeling of dread, “Yes?”

Little Bird asked, “Dad, what is the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Her dad blinked a few times trying to figure out what those two were up to and said (because Little Bird was in the first grade and should know this stuff already), “Bird, you’re just being lazy. Use your Hello Kitty calculator and figure it out.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea Dad!” (of course it was a good idea, their dad is a superhero!) Little Bird and Marie T. Mouse started going back upstairs to the “project” room when her dad had a sudden thought that went something like “Uh-oh.”

Just then, Little Bird’s dad realized that there were not many reasons why a cat and mouse would need to figure out the hypotenuse of anything, “Wait a minute you two. What do you need to know the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Little Bird stopped on the bottom step – so close to getting back to the “project” room and now her dad was onto her little mind game, “Oh, we’re building a Potato cannon to shoot squirrels with. They have fuzzy tails and hide their nuts.” Marie T. Mouse, who was as always riding on Little Bird’s head clapped her little tiny mouse hands together and squeaked “Potato cannon!”

“Yes, I know Squirrels have fuzzy tails, Bird. Don’t you think a Potato cannon is a little dangerous for someone your age?”, her dad (who was a superhero) asked while trying to figure out some way to put an end to these particular shenanigans before it started to cost money, ’cause Potatoes don’t grow on trees you know and cats shooting Potatoes at Squirrels is probably not such a good idea.

“No dad, you see, Squirrels are rodents. Everyone knows that…..common knowledge,” which seemed pretty obvious to a cat because after all, everyone knows that, it’s common knowledge.

Marie T. Mouse piped up, “Yeah dad, they’re rodents. We hate rodents!”

Sensing that there was some serious issues with the fat mouse, their dad tried to explain it, “Marie, you are a rodent you know.”

“Oh dad, I’m not a rodent, I’m a mouse!”

“Everyone knows that…..common knowledge” Little Bird added and then scurried back upstairs to the project room before her dad recovered his senses and put a stop to the project.

Little Bird and her furever bestest friend, Marie T. Mouse got their awesome potato cannon idea after watching a super cool movie with their super hero dad called “Almost Heros” which Little Bird thought was just right since her dad was a super hero after they saw how the characters in the movie got a Squirrel…..that was eating a nut!

The next day when Little Bird’s dad got home he was pretty sure that his talk about the Potato cannon didn’t work because there were 3 fire trucks, 2 police cars, a helicopter and several television news crews milling about in front of the house along with several neighbors.

As he got out of his superhero pickup truck, one of the firemen walked up to Little Bird’s dad with, oddly enough, Marie T. Mouse on his fireman’s helmet.

“Sir, are you the legal parent of this particular mouse?”

Little Bird’s dad looked at the fireman and said, “Yes I am. I guess there is a good reason why there’s a mouse on your helmet?”

Just then Little Bird raced up, circled her dad’s legs 4 times and leapt up into his arms exclaiming, “Dad! Dad! Miss Marie T. Mouse, my furever best friend is missing! Vanished I tell you!”

“Little Bird”, her dad said, “Marie is on that fireman’s helmet.”

Little Bird stamped her foot and exclaimed, “Marie T. Mouse, what are you doing on the fireman’s helmet?”

“What do you mean? I hopped on this very nice helmet when I hopped out of the tree that I was in”

Realizing that dragging out the explanation that was sure to take several hours longer that was required, Little Bird’s dad decided to talk to the only person that could tell him, the fireman.

The fireman, realizing the exact same thing said, “The mouse in question was in a tree, about a million zillion feet in the air. Way high up, I might add.”

Her dad looked at Little Bird and asked the question that he was dreading the answer to, “Little Bird, how did the mouse get in the tree a million zillion feet in the air?”

“Well, dad it could have been when we tested the Potato cannon.”

“Little Bird, did you put the mouse in the Potato cannon?”

“No Dad, she pulled the trigger and I guess the recoil was a little bit more than we bargained for. Especially since we didn’t have a measuring cup at the time. You see, the directions say to put 4 drops of lighter fluid in the potato cannon to shoot the potato and since we didn’t have a measuring cup, we decided to put the whole can of lighter fluid in the cannon and when we pulled the trigger, it launched the potato way, way high up in the air and Marie T. Mouse was sort of launched in the other direction a million zillion feet up into the tree.”

Just then one of the neighbors wandered by on their way home from milling about and Little Bird’s dad overheard him say, “It was the strangest thing. NASA just announced that a potato of all things just hit the International Space Station and put a big dent in it that is going to cost at least twenty dollars to fix!”

And that’s the story of how a cat and a fat mouse managed to put a dent in a space station and cause an international incident because the Russians, who are paranoid to begin with, thought that some one sabotaged the space station and set out to get to the bottom of how a potato managed to hit the space station.



The kitten and the Potato cannon

One night last Tuesday, Little Bird’s dad was relaxing after a hard day doing whatever it was he did all day long, minding his own business and not bothering anyone when Little bird and Marie T. Mouse came trouping down the stairs from their “project” room. Marie, of course, was sitting on Little Bird’s head when they came up to dad (who was a superhero). Little Bird sat down, cleaned her right paw and said, “Dad?”

Always suspicious when the kitten and mouse were working on one of their “projects” in their room answered with a feeling of dread, “Yes?”

Little Bird asked, “Dad, what is the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Her dad blinked a few times trying to figure out what those two were up to and said (because Little Bird was in the first grade and should know this stuff already), “Bird, you’re just being lazy. Use your Hello Kitty calculator and figure it out.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea Dad!” (of course it was a good idea, their dad is a superhero!) Little Bird and Marie T. Mouse started going back upstairs to the “project” room when her dad had a sudden thought that went something like “Uh-oh.”

Just then, Little Bird’s dad realized that there were not many reasons why a cat and mouse would need to figure out the hypotenuse of anything, “Wait a minute you two. What do you need to know the hypotenuse of 260 squared?”

Little Bird stopped on the bottom step – so close to getting back to the “project” room and now her dad was onto her little mind game, “Oh, we’re building a Potato cannon to shoot squirrels with. They have fuzzy tails and hide their nuts.” Marie T. Mouse, who was as always riding on Little Bird’s head clapped her little tiny mouse hands together and squeaked “Potato cannon!”

“Yes, I know Squirrels have fuzzy tails, Bird. Don’t you think a Potato cannon is a little dangerous for someone your age?”, her dad (who was a superhero) asked while trying to figure out some way to put an end to these particular shenanigans before it started to cost money, ’cause Potatoes don’t grow on trees you know and cats shooting Potatoes at Squirrels is probably not such a good idea.

“No dad, you see, Squirrels are rodents. Everyone knows that…..common knowledge,” which seemed pretty obvious to a cat because after all, everyone knows that, it’s common knowledge.

Marie T. Mouse piped up, “Yeah dad, they’re rodents. We hate rodents!”

Sensing that there was some serious issues with the fat mouse, their dad tried to explain it, “Marie, you are a rodent you know.”

“Oh dad, I’m not a rodent, I’m a mouse!”

“Everyone knows that…..common knowledge” Little Bird added and then scurried back upstairs to the project room before her dad recovered his senses and put a stop to the project.

The next day when Little Bird’s dad got home he was pretty sure that his talk about the Potato cannon didn’t work because there were 3 fire trucks, 2 police cars, a helicopter and several television news crews milling about in front of the house along with several neighbors.

As he got out of his superhero pickup truck, one of the firemen walked up to Little Bird’s dad with, oddly enough, Marie T. Mouse on his fireman’s helmet.

“Sir, are you the legal parent of this particular mouse?”

Little Bird’s dad looked at the fireman and said, “Yes I am. I guess there is a good reason why there’s a mouse on your helmet?”

Just then Little Bird raced up, circled her dad’s legs 4 times and leapt up into his arms exclaiming, “Dad! Dad! Miss Marie T. Mouse, my furever best friend is missing! Vanished I tell you!”

“Little Bird”, her dad said, “Marie is on that fireman’s helmet.”

Little Bird stamped her foot and exclaimed, “Marie T. Mouse, what are you doing on the fireman’s helmet?”

“What do you mean? I hopped on this very nice helmet when I hopped out of the tree that I was in”

Realizing that dragging out the explanation that was sure to take several hours longer that was required, Little Bird’s dad decided to talk to the only person that could tell him, the fireman.

The fireman, realizing the exact same thing said, “The mouse in question was in a tree, about a million zillion feet in the air. Way high up, I might add.”

Her dad looked at Little Bird and asked the question that he was dreading the answer to, “Little Bird, how did the mouse get in the tree a million zillion feet in the air?”

“Well, dad it could have been when we tested the Potato cannon.”

“Little Bird, did you put the mouse in the Potato cannon?”

“No Dad, she pulled the trigger and I guess the recoil was a little bit more than we bargained for. Especially since we didn’t have a measuring cup at the time. You see, the directions say to put 4 drops of lighter fluid in the potato cannon to shoot the potato and since we didn’t have a measuring cup, we decided to put the whole can of lighter fluid in the cannon and when we pulled the trigger, it launched the potato way, way high up in the air and Marie T. Mouse was sort of launched in the other direction a million zillion feet up into the tree.”

Just then one of the neighbors wandered by on their way home from milling about and Little Bird’s dad overheard him say, “It was the strangest thing. NASA just announced that a potato of all things just hit the International Space Station and put a big dent in it that is going to cost at least twenty dollars to fix!”

And that’s the story of how a cat and a fat mouse managed to put a dent in a space station and cause an international incident because the Russians, who are paranoid to begin with, thought that some one sabotaged the space station and set out to get to the bottom of how a potato managed to hit the space station.